You'll Be In MY Heart

(This is the last of the articles I wrote for LNF Newsletter. My next post will be back to normal whatever that means.)



One of my first Bibles was given to me by my youth minister when I was in high school. The Bible was an Easy-to-Read version that I liked because I could understand it better. I think the Bible was given to him and whoever gave it to him wrote this on the inside cover: “To be in a child’s heart tomorrow, you have to be in their life today.” I remember those words a lot when I think about the type of person I want to be. One of the things I see in the life of Jesus is that he was always in people’s lives today, so he could be in their hearts tomorrow.


If I could give advice to people who would like to be mentors in the lives of kids, I would give them this advice:
1. Remember the quote from above. You have to be with them today, to impact their tomorrow. One of the most underrated things about mentoring is not what you do, but simply that you are there. You do not have to come up with great games. You don’t have to be the coolest person in the room. It is as easy as showing up. Everyone comes in and out of their lives, from mom’s boyfriend to their father or even their own mother, in this day and age. They don’t need the people who are supposed to be a positive influence to come in and out of their lives.
2. Keep it simple- the level of your impact is not based on the complexity of your input. The message only has to be “Jesus loves you this I know for the Bible tells me so.” One of my favorite quotes about impact is this: “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” Let your message be simple with words and deeds. “I care about you!”
3. Interested is interesting – (If you know where this quote comes from, don’t judge me for loving chick flicks.) The quote is so true. The more you show kids that you care and you are there for them, the more they become engaged and tuned in to you. Come ready for fun and have intriguing questions for the student.
4. The last thing I would suggest is to be prepared to improve their lives, not fix them. Mentors get overwhelmed sometimes at how big the problem seems. It is not our job to fix them. Leave that to God. We are here to help God show them and prepare them to be the best possible version of themselves.


Mentoring at LNF is a life-changing thing for the students and the mentor. It does not take a superhero to be a mentor. It just takes a person who wants to be a kid’s hero. Here is a list of tasks that I have witnessed that have made a significant impact on our kids’ lives.: Working though 20 sight word flash cards and multiplication flash cards, teaching a girl how to bump a volleyball, sitting with a child and working though every detail of his math homework, letting a girl beat you in checkers to see her eyes light up and confidence soar, and just showing up to things that matter to them to let them know you care i.e. soccer games, baseball games, school assemblies. All of these things are done in the name of Jesus to show the students of LNF that we care.

We Pray for the children!

One of my favorite pieces of literature about working with children was written by Ina J. Hughes. In this poem, she does a wonderful job capturing all the joys, beauties, blessings, heartbreaks and heartaches that go into working with children.

A Prayer for the Children… by Ina J. Hughes

We pray for the children

who put chocolate fingers everywhere,

who like to be tickled,

who stomp in puddles and ruin their new pants,

who sneak popsicles before supper,

who erase holes in math workbooks,

who can never find their shoes.

And we pray for those

who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,

who’ve never squeaked across the floor in new sneakers,

who never had crayons to count,

who are born in places we wouldn’t be caught dead,

who never go to the circus,

who live in an X-rated world.

We pray for children

who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,

who sleep with the dog and bury goldfish,

who give hugs in a hurry and forget their lunch money,

who cover themselves with Band-Aids and sing off-key,

who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink,

who slurp their soup.

And we pray for those

who never get dessert,

who watch their parents watch them die,

who have no safe blanket to drag behind,

who can’t find any bread to steal,

who don’t have any rooms to clean up,

whose pictures aren’t on anybody’s dresser,

whose monsters are real.

We pray for children

who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,

who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,

who like ghost stories, 
who shove dirty clothes under the bed,

who never rinse out the tub,

who get visits from the tooth fairy,

who don't like to be kissed in front of the school,

who squirm in church or temple or mosque and scream in the phone,

whose tears we sometimes laugh at and 
whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray for those

whose nightmares come in the daytime,

who will eat anything,

who aren't spoiled by anybody,

who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,

who live and move, but have no being.

We pray for children who want to be carried, 
and for those who must.

For those we never give up on,

and for those who never get a chance.

For those we smother with our love,

and for those who will grab the hand of anybody 
kind enough to offer it.

At Love Never Fails, we work daily with children whose lives, personalities, and struggles will make you cry one minute and the next make you laugh like never before in your life. One of those kids for me is Marcus. If I have ever seen a million-dollar smile, Marcus has it. He is a bright kid, but to be honest he is deeply troubled. Marcus is the youngest of 6 kids. His mother is way too young to have 6 kids. Marcus is a born leader, and I am so glad LNF is in Marcus’ life. The abilities Marcus has are seen all over the inner cities in our country. The sad fact is that most of these males turn out to be leaders of gangs and big-time drug dealers, rather than successful businessmen. The way of gangs is already in Marcus’ bloodline. Marcus’ dad was a former gang member that was killed execution-style by gang members. During a recent Principles To Live By, Marcus told the story of his sister’s birthday party where a drive-by happened. The result left him as a 9-year-old boy witnessing his grandmother’s and a cousin’s deaths. It is easy to see why Marcus has his moments of darkness and despair. Marcus has more bad weeks than good weeks. But make no mistake, Marcus is one of the most resilient kids I have ever seen. I think of lines in the poem like “we pray for those whose nightmares come in the middle of the day” and “whose monsters are real.” Kids like Marcus are the reason why LNF heads into dark, hard places to share the love of Christ. Because of LNF, kids like Marcus are prayed for and loved. And his picture is not only on our dressers. His picture is stamped on our hearts and his name is lifted to the throne room of God. Because we want Marcus to know the God who loves him and that love never fails or dies.

It is A Whole New World!

The next 3 post are article written for the Love Never Fails newletter.



Recently, a research study was conducted by a non-profit organization that looked at a couple of kids the same age and living in the same city. The differences between the kids were easily recognizable. Even though their houses were less than 3 miles apart, their skins were different colors, and their parents’ pay scales were on opposite ends of the spectrum. There was a night-and-day difference between the boys. In the first 10 years of life, the research was amazingly different. One of the differences that struck me as significant is the difference in exposure. The boy from the wealthy neighborhood traveled about 35,000 more miles in his first 8 years of life than the other boy. Also, the boy from the wealthy neighborhood heard about 10,000 more words than the other boy his age, in the same city.

This study has motivated me to make sure this is different for the kids that I work with. Love Never Fails makes sure that the students in our programs experience and are exposed to a fullness of life. We intentionally make sure that our students experience a variety of things. Some opportunities are obviously great exposure for kids from at-risk neighborhoods - things like college campuses, the ins and outs of local business, and other trips designed to make sure that our students get a chance to view the world of possibilities. Other outings may not seem as important, but are equally important. This year we exposed them to things like Dallas Mavericks’ basketball games, baseball games, and trips to the military base (where they were privileged to sit on a plane that can fuel up other planes in mid air), just to name a few. While focused on fun, these events can be life-changing and inspiring. At Love Never Fails, we want to make sure that we make lasting imprints on the hearts, minds and lives of our students.

I recently had the chance to take two boys from Love Never Fails to the Harlem Globetrotters game at American Airlines Arena. The two boys are 6th graders and had never heard of the Globetrotters before. One boy had never been to AA arena before, and the other had been only once 2 years earlier, also with Love Never Fails. We had a grand time. We laughed. They laughed. They wondered if the game was real or fake. They told me they could dunk. I told them donuts do not count. We had a blast, and what a surprise - the Globetrotters won! On the way home, one of the boys told the other boy to keep his ticket to save so he could remember the trip. He told the other boy that he saved his Mavs game ticket from 2 years ago and still has it. Now this was head-turning for me. This kid cannot keep up with his homework for more than 30 minutes but somehow kept up with a ticket for over 2 years. Why? Because that trip was special to him.
Students at LNF might not like the Globetrotters, college campuses, or airplanes that fuel up other airplanes. But now they know if they do or not because they have experienced these opportunities in their own lives.

Protect Them From the Evil One!

Blogger's note: (I always wanted to say that) My next 3 or 4 posts will be a series of articles I have written about the non-profit after-school program I work for in Ft Worth. So they will all have a theme around the way I see God moving in the people of the FWISD LOVE NEVER FAILS PROGRAM. Here is the website to learn more: http://loveneverfailsinternational.org/

Anytime you work with at-risk youth from neighborhoods where the crime rate is through the roof, the dropout rate more than doubles the national average, and breaking the vicious cycles of poverty seems like towing a car with your teeth. There is a constant battle going inside of you for what is best for them. The tendency for me at least is to wish for them to move out of that place. To a place where families stick together, where it's safe to play in the front yard, and where it does not matter what color of clothes you wear. To move to a place where houses are big and nice cars are the norm. Sometimes I catch myself having a goal for them to have more things, for them to have a nice, quiet normal life or just to move far away from that neighborhood.

Then I start thinking, "What is God's will for them?" I know that if a man gains the whole world yet loses his soul, he gains nothing. (Matthew 16.26) I know that Jesus prays for his followers not to take them out of this world but protect them from the evil one. (John 15.13) There has to be a balance, right? I think I have found a good balance in some of our mentors in the FWISD centers. When we kicked off Love Never Fails International (LNFI) in the Fort Worth school system at the beginning of 2010, at first our main source of volunteers were the Poly Tech Key Club students. During the volunteer training, I was amazed at how many of these students grew up going to the schools where we were now opening a center. I was also amazed at the number of high school students living in an at-risk neighborhood that wanted to serve and give back. The Poly Tech Key Club has been great for the students in LNFI. In 4 months, the Poly Key Club has volunteered over 175 hours. The students are not only great with the kids, but the example they are setting will hopefully become contagious. The Poly students are thriving in service and in the classroom. A lot of the Poly volunteers are in the top 10% of their class. On more than one occasion when they have to miss volunteering, they will give me the typical teenage excuse like: I did not come yesterday because my teacher asked me to go feed the homeless with her, so we did! Or I got this one last week, I can’t make it tomorrow because I have to go to a banquet to receive an award.

So when I dream of how the current LNFI students are going to be, I think of a Poly Key Club student. One who is thriving in school and life. I just know our students are going to remember the example of our high school mentors and give back in their neighborhood, like someone did for them one day. I pray daily for the students at LNFI. A lot of times it goes like this, ”Lord, I pray that you do not take them out of their neighborhood, but protect them from the evil one. And Father, help them turn out like a Poly Key Club student.”

It Is a Lifetime Commitment!

I am writing this on the eve of Coach K's 11th Final Four appearance. I am a Duke lover and I am proud of it. I am proud to follow a team that does it the right way. As a small white boy growing up playing point guard, I got to watch players like Hurley, Collins, Wojo, Redick (Yes, J.J. Redick is still the wallpaper on my MySpace page), Paulus and now Scheyer. I love lines like this on the Internet, "Under Krzyzewski, 90% of Duke's scholarship basketball players have graduated, among the highest graduation rates of any NCAA Division I program." I wore the number 11 my whole life becuase of Bobby Hurley. One of my favorite books is Coach K's "Leading With The Heart."

The day I heard the story about Coach K recruiting Tommy Amaker was the day that I knew that I would be a Duke fan for the rest of my life. Duke was playing Michigan where Amaker was coaching, after being at Duke as an assistant for years. (Still today all the assistants are former players). The TV guy says, "Coach K called Coach Amaker this week just like he always does." See, when Coach K was recruiting Tommy and he sat by his mom at one of his high school games, he was selling Tommy's mom on Duke and said, "You know, your boy will look good in a blue Duke uniform. (Trust me, Coach K's recruiting skills have come a long way since that line.) Mrs. Amaker looked at Coach K and said, "I don't care about how my boy looks in a uniform. What I care about is whether you are going to take care of my boy." He looked at her and said, "It is a lifetime commitment!" I still get goosebumps when I tell that story. That's why Coach K called Tommy. Not because he was about to play him but because it's what he does all the time. Because Coach K promises more than just playing time, making kids into lottery picks, a chance at the NBA, or bending the rules to get a better team. He promises more. He promises to teach them hard work, commitment, trust. Not for one year or four years, he promises it for a lifetime! That is why, win or lose Saturday night, Coach K is my guy and I will be proud of Duke no matter what a scoreboard says. Because I know the four letters on the jersey stands for something! Something that I am proud of!

History of Connecting!

A couple of months ago, I heard a report on NPR (that's National Public Radio for those of you who are not as cool as me!) about a study of cell phones in the last 10 years. How far they have come and how they have improved. You didn't have to hear the report to know that cell phones have come a long way. Of course, one phone (made by a company that is named after a fruit) has changed a lot of that. But even before the Iphone, cell phones from their size, function, and features have improved leaps and bounds in the last decade. But what caught my attention about the report (and I have chewed on for the last couple of months) was the only thing that the report said had NOT improved dramatically over the time. Yep, you got it: the hearing and speaking quality. The report said that while some improvements have been made, by far the worst function of a cell phone is the sound of the conversation you have on it. Which is the whole purpose of the cell phone. The one thing it was made to do, it does not do very well.

I feel this way about the church sometimes. The churches in the last 10 years have gotten really good at time management, energy production, programming, and marketing. The church can make a sermon series on Ezekiel sound hip and relevant, when we all know it is not! Some churches are machines. They run well, are smooth and are very polished. But is that what CHURCH is about?

I have a friend who has moved a couple of times over the last few years. She says that she thinks her calling is to teach churches how to make people feel apart of the church. She says churches are bad at it. When she goes to a new city, she has to jump in herself in order to feel a sense of belonging. Maybe that's the reason people can attend worship services for years and never be connected. We are great at making them feel it is important to be there but not so much at making them feel like they belong. Isn't being a part of a community high on the purpose of the church? I am sure that the networking plans of the church are so good that every visitor in the last 15 years knows about everything that the church has on its calender, everything it has to offer, and they have been emailed and snail mailed about them. My question is who would be there to make them feel welcomed or would they sit in the back and feel distant?

I know that some people are really good at making people feel a part and others are not. But we have to do a better job at connecting with people. I don't want the church to be a well-oiled machine that does everything but the one thing it was made for. That is connecting members with Jesus and his people. Let's do our part of making our churches as inviting and welcoming as the God we live for. To people looking for the best possible way of living, do we offer a radical way of living in a community of people who know, love and look out for each other? Or do we offer an hour of produced energy one day a week that has a lot of bells and whistles but ultimately fails at its purpose?

Here is a couple of things that I want to think about: Of the people who join your church, what percentage actually stays active? Years ago as a freshman at Harding, I heard Rich Little say this,

"The number one reason people become a Christian is because they met a Christian. The number one reason why people don't become a Christian is because they met a Christian."

What do the people we meet ultimately decide to do?

Everyday Justice

So for my birthday my buddy got me a great book, Everyday Justice by Julie Clawson. In the book, Ms. Clawson walks us down the paths of how we can make choices everyday to life a life that is mindful of Justice. In the first chapter, she starts off saying that the problem with justice is so big sometime it overwhelms us, so we give up. Making choices about clothes, water, coffee and other items that may or may not be involved in slave labor. We are so unsure of how to change this we choose to do nothing out of being ovewhelmed. So far it is a good read and is great at giving small ways and choices to live for Justice everyday.

So while reading this book at the laundromat a week after my birthday, I ran into one of those small problems that drive me crazy about businesses. While I was reading a middle age male came over and ask to borrow a quarter because the dryer had taken his last quarter. So I gave him one...and minutes later he was back. I guess he heard my deep pockets full of the quarters I had, but he came back over and asked for another quarter. Because another dryer had done the same thing.

After the man left I checked for the return policy the laundromat had. To get a refund, you had to fill out a paper with your name, address and phone number then slide it under the door. And no one was working that night. So what happens if you were like this guy? This was his last money and he's not just washing his own clothes, he's washing clothes for his family. Do you go home with wet clothes? In this case he had to borrow money from a total stranger. I did some research in prices, and it costs about 22 cents to wash a load of clothes and it costs 14 cents just to dry them. Making the total price somewhere around 1.50 for a load at this laundromat. the mark up is almost 4 times per load. Not to mention the horrible customer service (which is typical at Laundromats).

Harold Shank pointed out to me once that you never see any naked people in the inner city. But every time a church has a clothing give away people line up at the door for more clothes. Why? because a lot of times they stock pile clothes because they cant afford to wash clothes for the whole family because of the huge mark up per load.

So WHAT IF churches built low cost laundromat in their neighborhood. What would be the benefits of it? First the church could provide jobs for church members and community members and the customer service would be better immediately. That is, after all, the business that the church is in. How much would it save the customer in the community? If you could have the loads cost half (only 75 cents). Let see how much that would save a family of 4 that uses the laundromat.

Example:

Say a family does 6 loads a week. That adds up to about 312 loads of laundry a year. That means we would be saving families $234 a year.

Which might not seem like much...unless you are that family. Say you have 40 loyal families that come to your laundromat. You are developing relationship with 40 families, not to mention you've saved them a total of $9,360.

And that is a great start for living justice everyday.