My Inner Teenage Girl

So I had to write an short evaluation essay for class about a song, singer or band. So I choose Natasha Bedingfield's song "Strip Me". It was a moment of weakness, I felt rushed and figured most of the music I listen to like all my manly music would not cut it. So I found my inner teenage girl and wrote this essay about the song. DONT YOU JUDGE ME!!!


Strip Me


Natasha Bedingfield’s song “Strip Me” is written for the female audience mostly, I would assume. From the “La,la,la,la,la” opening line, to the girly undertones, You see that the song is written for females. Even the title “Strip Me” after hearing the song brings to mind a woman who is stripped of her self-worth due to the fact that she is taken likely for being a pretty women. This is a problem from Mrs. Bedingfield’s own perspective as she is easy on the eyes. I have no reason to like the song. I am not a girl, in fact, some would call me a man’s man. I have been voted most likely to not shower or shave for days at a time because I was too busy doing manly things like watching T.V., playing sports, grilling meat and burping. But I love this song because of the redeeming message of self-worth and the anthem that cries out for you to never give up.

The line in the song that says ”and if you strip me, Strip it all away what you would find? If you strip me, Strip it all away, I’ll be alright.” is a great line. If you take everything that we hang our self-worth on and remove it, we are still someone. We are still ok. The song proclaims that we are worth more than our titles. This is a message for me, a 30 year old male, whose ego is fluffed up by salary figures, flirting girls, and three-pointers just as much as it is for a struggling teenage girl who has self-image and daddy issues. It is a beautiful reminder that even through our flaws we have redeeming qualities.

You could get caught up in the fact that the song lyrics could get old in a hurry from the repeating of words, the repeating of lines. But I think this isn’t a song sung for the lyrical hall of fame. It is a song to remind people to keep going, even when you don’t feel important. The lines are made to be catchy like a creed or anthem. It is made to give hope for those dreaded steps that some of us have to take daily. The lines are easy so you can march to the beat of “I’m only one voice in a million but you ain’t taking that from me”.

I understand the song may be too girly and some guys just can’t get by the voice of a girl. Some guys can’t get by the image of “Strip Me”. It might ask some guys to be too emotional, or get in touch with their feelings. But if you strip all that away, you will find more than a catchy feel-good song. You will find power in the words. The power to know that when pink slips comes, bad days happen and your feeling like a nobody, there is hope. Rob Bell says “Sometimes we speak to change the world, and sometimes we keep speaking so the world does not change us.”

Define: Leadership

Here is an essay I wrote for class on Leadership. I try to define Leadership with my own terms. I only had to write 700 words(But I went way over) so it is not all my complete thoughts on leadership but i believe it is a start.



What if I told you that the people who can teach you the most about leadership; Their titles were titles like nun, teacher, newspaper owner and a shoe marker from California is were you can find some of the best leadership principles. It might come as a surprise because surely CEO’s of billion dollar companies or the people running the nation should lead the way in leadership, but they are not. Leadership is more than a title: it is the ability to influence by creating a compelling vision, striving for relentless consistently, and by asking the question what can we do better than anyone else in the world is doing.

An old proverb says “Where there is no vision, people will perish” in India that was the case, in fact, children, the mentally disabled, and the handicap was dying until Mother Theresa came along an inspired people with a vision that would change the world. Mother Theresa's vision was to let her and her people take care of those who could not take care of themselves. The vision caught on, so money, food, clothes, shoes and some of the most influence people in the world came to India to see what she was doing. As result people started caring. In leadership you can’t do it by yourself, many have tried and burned. You have to learn how to multiple yourself so other people can help. The best way of doing this is casting a vision. A vision so big that people will sign on the dot line; to commit giving their all to this cause. Visions are compelling when people say this is worth my time, treasures, and talents. Since these are the things that people hold dear. When Steve Jobs was starting Apple he needed a partner, so he went to the CEO of Pepsi and ask him to join him. Steve Jobs pitched this idea of selling personal computers in the garage of his house. He ask Steve why would a man with a penthouse office that over looked the city of New York, making hundred of thousands a year, leave? So he told Steve, No! As Steve Jobs was leaving he turned around and ask the CEO one more question, “ How long are you going to be satisfied with selling sugared water, I am offering you a chance to change the world”. The next day the CEO of Pepsi was starting a company called Apple. Leadership is casting a vision that will make you give up the things we hold so dear, for a chance to be apart of something bigger then ourselves.

At the age of 24 I started running a youth community center, one of the first lesson of leadership I found in running the community center is that more then the stuff you teach, how you decorate, or even how delicious your homemade cookies are for snack. The lesson would be that the consistent structure to your program from day to day is the most important part. It is the leaders job to make sure that day in and day out your area of influence is the same. The Oxford English dictionary points out that the word leadership is “The action or influence necessary for the direction . . .of effort in a group undertaking”(“leadership”). True leadership is you making sure that the group or area that you have been put in charge of is the same everyday. In my center you can come in on a Tuesday during the school year and you would see the same structure everyday. I call it my 20-mile hike; it is the goal I have to reach my destination. There are days that I could do more and there are days I could do less. But I do the same so the kids, staff and volunteers know what that get from me as a leader. It helps establish, set and maintain healthy boundaries. Jim Collins says, “the number one factor in business being mediocre is not lack of Innovation, but it is chronic inconsistency”. Leadership is being faithful day in and day out to the ones you lead and what you do.

If a leader is not trying to be the best in the world at something related to what they do, then something is wrong with the mission that the leader is in charge of. If Burger King chooses today to accept the fact that they will always be second to McDonald’s then you would see a decline at Burger King. Burger King mission now is to be the best costumer service fast food place in the world. It is in fact why I can have it my way at Burger King. Sometimes in leadership you have to face the reality we can't be the best in the world at this one thing. But your mission should be to be the best in the world at something. The nonprofit that I work for, is like a Boys and Girls or YMCA. When we first started putting our mission together, we realized we would never be able to offer the programming that the Boys and Girls Club or YMCA could because of staff, budget and building space. But we did decided that we could care for the group of students that walk into are doors better then anyone else in the world. So we get the question a lot “what are you doing here?”, when we show up to ball games, birthday parties, and band concerts. The answer is always the same of we are here to see, you can fill in the blank with one of the kids name from the center. But what we really are doing is trying to care for our students more then anyone else in the world.


Leadership is not about titles but it is about the testimonies of changing lives and outcomes. It is changing the world you live in or the area you are in charge of. The title leader is flawed because with the same word we talk about MLK JR., Abe Lincoln, and Winston Churchill. Also with that word we can use to talk about Gaddafi, Bernie Madoff, and whoever is the manger of the Yankees. Leadership is different it is changing the world that you apart of even if that world is only a 10,000 square foot office, a 3 person team with a dream, or a group of 8 year girl soccer players. The titles of boss, coach, mom or president are nice but in the end it is the fact that you left the world a better place. When you take what you have leftover long after the title of leader is gone, then what you have left is leadership.

You'll Be In MY Heart

(This is the last of the articles I wrote for LNF Newsletter. My next post will be back to normal whatever that means.)



One of my first Bibles was given to me by my youth minister when I was in high school. The Bible was an Easy-to-Read version that I liked because I could understand it better. I think the Bible was given to him and whoever gave it to him wrote this on the inside cover: “To be in a child’s heart tomorrow, you have to be in their life today.” I remember those words a lot when I think about the type of person I want to be. One of the things I see in the life of Jesus is that he was always in people’s lives today, so he could be in their hearts tomorrow.


If I could give advice to people who would like to be mentors in the lives of kids, I would give them this advice:
1. Remember the quote from above. You have to be with them today, to impact their tomorrow. One of the most underrated things about mentoring is not what you do, but simply that you are there. You do not have to come up with great games. You don’t have to be the coolest person in the room. It is as easy as showing up. Everyone comes in and out of their lives, from mom’s boyfriend to their father or even their own mother, in this day and age. They don’t need the people who are supposed to be a positive influence to come in and out of their lives.
2. Keep it simple- the level of your impact is not based on the complexity of your input. The message only has to be “Jesus loves you this I know for the Bible tells me so.” One of my favorite quotes about impact is this: “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” Let your message be simple with words and deeds. “I care about you!”
3. Interested is interesting – (If you know where this quote comes from, don’t judge me for loving chick flicks.) The quote is so true. The more you show kids that you care and you are there for them, the more they become engaged and tuned in to you. Come ready for fun and have intriguing questions for the student.
4. The last thing I would suggest is to be prepared to improve their lives, not fix them. Mentors get overwhelmed sometimes at how big the problem seems. It is not our job to fix them. Leave that to God. We are here to help God show them and prepare them to be the best possible version of themselves.


Mentoring at LNF is a life-changing thing for the students and the mentor. It does not take a superhero to be a mentor. It just takes a person who wants to be a kid’s hero. Here is a list of tasks that I have witnessed that have made a significant impact on our kids’ lives.: Working though 20 sight word flash cards and multiplication flash cards, teaching a girl how to bump a volleyball, sitting with a child and working though every detail of his math homework, letting a girl beat you in checkers to see her eyes light up and confidence soar, and just showing up to things that matter to them to let them know you care i.e. soccer games, baseball games, school assemblies. All of these things are done in the name of Jesus to show the students of LNF that we care.

We Pray for the children!

One of my favorite pieces of literature about working with children was written by Ina J. Hughes. In this poem, she does a wonderful job capturing all the joys, beauties, blessings, heartbreaks and heartaches that go into working with children.

A Prayer for the Children… by Ina J. Hughes

We pray for the children

who put chocolate fingers everywhere,

who like to be tickled,

who stomp in puddles and ruin their new pants,

who sneak popsicles before supper,

who erase holes in math workbooks,

who can never find their shoes.

And we pray for those

who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,

who’ve never squeaked across the floor in new sneakers,

who never had crayons to count,

who are born in places we wouldn’t be caught dead,

who never go to the circus,

who live in an X-rated world.

We pray for children

who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions,

who sleep with the dog and bury goldfish,

who give hugs in a hurry and forget their lunch money,

who cover themselves with Band-Aids and sing off-key,

who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink,

who slurp their soup.

And we pray for those

who never get dessert,

who watch their parents watch them die,

who have no safe blanket to drag behind,

who can’t find any bread to steal,

who don’t have any rooms to clean up,

whose pictures aren’t on anybody’s dresser,

whose monsters are real.

We pray for children

who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,

who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,

who like ghost stories, 
who shove dirty clothes under the bed,

who never rinse out the tub,

who get visits from the tooth fairy,

who don't like to be kissed in front of the school,

who squirm in church or temple or mosque and scream in the phone,

whose tears we sometimes laugh at and 
whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray for those

whose nightmares come in the daytime,

who will eat anything,

who aren't spoiled by anybody,

who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,

who live and move, but have no being.

We pray for children who want to be carried, 
and for those who must.

For those we never give up on,

and for those who never get a chance.

For those we smother with our love,

and for those who will grab the hand of anybody 
kind enough to offer it.

At Love Never Fails, we work daily with children whose lives, personalities, and struggles will make you cry one minute and the next make you laugh like never before in your life. One of those kids for me is Marcus. If I have ever seen a million-dollar smile, Marcus has it. He is a bright kid, but to be honest he is deeply troubled. Marcus is the youngest of 6 kids. His mother is way too young to have 6 kids. Marcus is a born leader, and I am so glad LNF is in Marcus’ life. The abilities Marcus has are seen all over the inner cities in our country. The sad fact is that most of these males turn out to be leaders of gangs and big-time drug dealers, rather than successful businessmen. The way of gangs is already in Marcus’ bloodline. Marcus’ dad was a former gang member that was killed execution-style by gang members. During a recent Principles To Live By, Marcus told the story of his sister’s birthday party where a drive-by happened. The result left him as a 9-year-old boy witnessing his grandmother’s and a cousin’s deaths. It is easy to see why Marcus has his moments of darkness and despair. Marcus has more bad weeks than good weeks. But make no mistake, Marcus is one of the most resilient kids I have ever seen. I think of lines in the poem like “we pray for those whose nightmares come in the middle of the day” and “whose monsters are real.” Kids like Marcus are the reason why LNF heads into dark, hard places to share the love of Christ. Because of LNF, kids like Marcus are prayed for and loved. And his picture is not only on our dressers. His picture is stamped on our hearts and his name is lifted to the throne room of God. Because we want Marcus to know the God who loves him and that love never fails or dies.

It is A Whole New World!

The next 3 post are article written for the Love Never Fails newletter.



Recently, a research study was conducted by a non-profit organization that looked at a couple of kids the same age and living in the same city. The differences between the kids were easily recognizable. Even though their houses were less than 3 miles apart, their skins were different colors, and their parents’ pay scales were on opposite ends of the spectrum. There was a night-and-day difference between the boys. In the first 10 years of life, the research was amazingly different. One of the differences that struck me as significant is the difference in exposure. The boy from the wealthy neighborhood traveled about 35,000 more miles in his first 8 years of life than the other boy. Also, the boy from the wealthy neighborhood heard about 10,000 more words than the other boy his age, in the same city.

This study has motivated me to make sure this is different for the kids that I work with. Love Never Fails makes sure that the students in our programs experience and are exposed to a fullness of life. We intentionally make sure that our students experience a variety of things. Some opportunities are obviously great exposure for kids from at-risk neighborhoods - things like college campuses, the ins and outs of local business, and other trips designed to make sure that our students get a chance to view the world of possibilities. Other outings may not seem as important, but are equally important. This year we exposed them to things like Dallas Mavericks’ basketball games, baseball games, and trips to the military base (where they were privileged to sit on a plane that can fuel up other planes in mid air), just to name a few. While focused on fun, these events can be life-changing and inspiring. At Love Never Fails, we want to make sure that we make lasting imprints on the hearts, minds and lives of our students.

I recently had the chance to take two boys from Love Never Fails to the Harlem Globetrotters game at American Airlines Arena. The two boys are 6th graders and had never heard of the Globetrotters before. One boy had never been to AA arena before, and the other had been only once 2 years earlier, also with Love Never Fails. We had a grand time. We laughed. They laughed. They wondered if the game was real or fake. They told me they could dunk. I told them donuts do not count. We had a blast, and what a surprise - the Globetrotters won! On the way home, one of the boys told the other boy to keep his ticket to save so he could remember the trip. He told the other boy that he saved his Mavs game ticket from 2 years ago and still has it. Now this was head-turning for me. This kid cannot keep up with his homework for more than 30 minutes but somehow kept up with a ticket for over 2 years. Why? Because that trip was special to him.
Students at LNF might not like the Globetrotters, college campuses, or airplanes that fuel up other airplanes. But now they know if they do or not because they have experienced these opportunities in their own lives.

Protect Them From the Evil One!

Blogger's note: (I always wanted to say that) My next 3 or 4 posts will be a series of articles I have written about the non-profit after-school program I work for in Ft Worth. So they will all have a theme around the way I see God moving in the people of the FWISD LOVE NEVER FAILS PROGRAM. Here is the website to learn more: http://loveneverfailsinternational.org/

Anytime you work with at-risk youth from neighborhoods where the crime rate is through the roof, the dropout rate more than doubles the national average, and breaking the vicious cycles of poverty seems like towing a car with your teeth. There is a constant battle going inside of you for what is best for them. The tendency for me at least is to wish for them to move out of that place. To a place where families stick together, where it's safe to play in the front yard, and where it does not matter what color of clothes you wear. To move to a place where houses are big and nice cars are the norm. Sometimes I catch myself having a goal for them to have more things, for them to have a nice, quiet normal life or just to move far away from that neighborhood.

Then I start thinking, "What is God's will for them?" I know that if a man gains the whole world yet loses his soul, he gains nothing. (Matthew 16.26) I know that Jesus prays for his followers not to take them out of this world but protect them from the evil one. (John 15.13) There has to be a balance, right? I think I have found a good balance in some of our mentors in the FWISD centers. When we kicked off Love Never Fails International (LNFI) in the Fort Worth school system at the beginning of 2010, at first our main source of volunteers were the Poly Tech Key Club students. During the volunteer training, I was amazed at how many of these students grew up going to the schools where we were now opening a center. I was also amazed at the number of high school students living in an at-risk neighborhood that wanted to serve and give back. The Poly Tech Key Club has been great for the students in LNFI. In 4 months, the Poly Key Club has volunteered over 175 hours. The students are not only great with the kids, but the example they are setting will hopefully become contagious. The Poly students are thriving in service and in the classroom. A lot of the Poly volunteers are in the top 10% of their class. On more than one occasion when they have to miss volunteering, they will give me the typical teenage excuse like: I did not come yesterday because my teacher asked me to go feed the homeless with her, so we did! Or I got this one last week, I can’t make it tomorrow because I have to go to a banquet to receive an award.

So when I dream of how the current LNFI students are going to be, I think of a Poly Key Club student. One who is thriving in school and life. I just know our students are going to remember the example of our high school mentors and give back in their neighborhood, like someone did for them one day. I pray daily for the students at LNFI. A lot of times it goes like this, ”Lord, I pray that you do not take them out of their neighborhood, but protect them from the evil one. And Father, help them turn out like a Poly Key Club student.”

It Is a Lifetime Commitment!

I am writing this on the eve of Coach K's 11th Final Four appearance. I am a Duke lover and I am proud of it. I am proud to follow a team that does it the right way. As a small white boy growing up playing point guard, I got to watch players like Hurley, Collins, Wojo, Redick (Yes, J.J. Redick is still the wallpaper on my MySpace page), Paulus and now Scheyer. I love lines like this on the Internet, "Under Krzyzewski, 90% of Duke's scholarship basketball players have graduated, among the highest graduation rates of any NCAA Division I program." I wore the number 11 my whole life becuase of Bobby Hurley. One of my favorite books is Coach K's "Leading With The Heart."

The day I heard the story about Coach K recruiting Tommy Amaker was the day that I knew that I would be a Duke fan for the rest of my life. Duke was playing Michigan where Amaker was coaching, after being at Duke as an assistant for years. (Still today all the assistants are former players). The TV guy says, "Coach K called Coach Amaker this week just like he always does." See, when Coach K was recruiting Tommy and he sat by his mom at one of his high school games, he was selling Tommy's mom on Duke and said, "You know, your boy will look good in a blue Duke uniform. (Trust me, Coach K's recruiting skills have come a long way since that line.) Mrs. Amaker looked at Coach K and said, "I don't care about how my boy looks in a uniform. What I care about is whether you are going to take care of my boy." He looked at her and said, "It is a lifetime commitment!" I still get goosebumps when I tell that story. That's why Coach K called Tommy. Not because he was about to play him but because it's what he does all the time. Because Coach K promises more than just playing time, making kids into lottery picks, a chance at the NBA, or bending the rules to get a better team. He promises more. He promises to teach them hard work, commitment, trust. Not for one year or four years, he promises it for a lifetime! That is why, win or lose Saturday night, Coach K is my guy and I will be proud of Duke no matter what a scoreboard says. Because I know the four letters on the jersey stands for something! Something that I am proud of!